Message from the Dark Side…

Hello world,

I have never really explored the Xbox Live Marketplace or Arcade as I always believed that paying £8.25 for 1000 points was a little expensive – why couldn’t they take a page out of Sony’s book as just price them individually? That said, there are obvious advantages to the point system… for Microsoft at the very least and this finally spurred me on to take a look at the Arcade. Upon doing so I came across ‘Trials HD‘; having downloaded the demo game I really enjoyed it but was still reluctant to buy 1,500 points for £12 odd with the view of having 300 left over. However, the other night they offered it for 33% off! That’s right, 800 points :O lol. Needless to say, I instantly bought 1000 points and purchased the game. Has to be said, glad I did.

Trials HD - Xbox Live Arcade

So a little about the game – in short, Trials HD is a motor cross game in which you navigate a motorbike over various courses and obstacles. Doesn’t sound particularly thrilling, but I can assure you it is. As you progress through the various stages, they progressively get more difficult and, in some stages, the use of various environments and props is your only method for success. For instance some stages demand you use a iron girder as a see-saw or bridge whilst also dodging various falling objects. The controls are fairly basic; left trigger to brake, right trigger to accelerate and right or left on the thumb stick to adjust the riders weight in order to navigate the courses.

The courses themselves consist mostly of industrial warehouses, with the majority of the course built using steel girders, wooden crates, glass and barrels. The obstacles include various jumps, flips and spins in order to reach the end of the level. Whilst the majority of these are fairly easy, as the game progresses the amount of shift in the riders weight changes drastically and you find yourself barely touching the thumb stick in order to successfully land jumps and continue the stage.

Trials HD - In game footage

As you can see from the image above, the graphics in-game are pretty impressive, even more so for a 250mb Live Arcade game. The above image also clearly demonstrates the obstacles you will mostly always face from level to level. The sounds are fairly realistic and I enjoyed the sound track that accompanied it. Overall, this is a fantastic Arcade game and, with hindsight, I would happily buy and pay 1,200 points for it. If you have the chance, snap it up for 800 points almost instantly however, should that offer end before then I would still highly recommend paying the cash for it The 200Gs for the achievements are not particularly difficult to get either with most of them gained in one play through. There is even an online score board where friends can compare their times and scores for each course.

As a final conclusion, I give 8/10 for gameplay purely because it can get a little repetitive having played 50 levels that differ only ever so slightly; 9/10 for graphics as for an arcade game they truly are wonderful and 8/10 for sound as they are fairly realistic and I enjoyed the accompanying sound track. Overall I’d give it a strong 8/10 and would say 1,200 points is a fair price to pay.

Peace,

Chris

I’m going to start this article as I intend to end it; do not UNDER any circumstances buy this game. The only reason I sat there for 10 or so hours playing it was for the 1000G it had on offer of which all 15 achievements are easy to get (just play the career mode till the end). This game, however, is not worth the disk it is burned to. The graphics are sub standard for the 360; the sounds are fairly rubbish and not in the least bit realistic; the game’s engine is pathetic; how the game plays is even worse; the ‘characters’ if you can call them that are just… well, almost as good as the storyline itself (which takes all of 15 seconds to work out). Basically, I hated this game from the very first cutscene. Needless to say, I will now attempt to be remotely analytical in my approach and to hopefully form a reasonable argument… ok here goes.

Need For Speed : Most Wanted

So as you can probably guess from the front cover (that and the fact it is yet another game in the endless Need For Speed series) Most Wanted is a ‘racing’ game. Pictured on the front is a fully customised BMW that, strangely, you drive in the opening 2-3 minutes of the game before losing it to some jerk off only known to you at the time as ‘Razor’. Your ‘character’ remains completely nameless and, despite entering a custom name at the beginning of career mode, is never mentioned once. Anyway, on to the opening. As I said, the opening couple of races, you drive a stupidly over-powered and fast BMW that, unless you hit every single ‘obstacle’, you cannot lose in; infact, I’m not sure why they made this apart of the game – why they couldn’t save you 10 minutes of holding the right trigger and occasionally turning the thumb stick and create a bloody video is beyond me. Shortly after your glorified victories where you truly believe you are on top of the world, the shit hits the fan, as Razor sabotages your car in a pink slip race. Now I’m not being funny, I’m fooked if I’d give my car up to a pink slip if the cheating bastard had quite evidently sabotaged my car. But naturally, because you are a faceless, gutless pile of crap you give up the car and get caught by the cops – unlucky for you.

Your now left at this point wondering what the hell the rest of the game will be based on; you have no car and your on your way to jail right…? Wrong! EA have pulled out all the stops and miraculously there is no evidence on you and your free to go and it just so happens that as you leave the place some ‘babe’ pulls up to pick you up, takes you to a ‘hide out’ and gives you 10k to spend on a new car – how jolly nice of her right? Wish all women were equally as keen. Now if you have any sense by this point you’ve pretty much worked out that she’s an undercover cop who’s going to help to you the very top of the list, taking down all the other racers along way, making the streets clean and safe… and if you hadn’t worked that out, sorry for the ‘spoiler’ but really, you shoulda known. I should also probably take a moment to state that the primary focus of this game is to piss off enough cops (score ‘bounty’), drive stupidly fast, ram things, destroy things, drive like a complete twat, avoid spikes, ram some more things and then pretend none of it was you by hiding under a subway bridge and changing the colour of your car which somehow is enough to put police off your trails these days – it’s got nothing to do with number plates or the make of car, just the colour! The more bounty you collect, the more racers you can challenge and further up the ‘blacklist’ you will progress; the ‘blacklist’ being a collection of duche bags who drive around destroying everything and making complete c***s of themselves – the aim being to become the biggest c**t of them all

Gameplay wise the cars handle like a complete sack of shit; no matter what stats you have or indeed which car your driving you will end up randomly sliding off the road into oncoming vehicles or various signs, dumpsters or trees. Whilst most of these you drive straight through, it can be frustrating being slowed from 120mph to 30 in a matter of 2 feet and going from 1st with a 3,000ft lead to 4 with a 10,000ft gap (yes this does happen and no it is not an over-exageration on my part – it leaves you wondering how fast your rivals were truly traveling and whether you had a chance in the first place). The in-game ‘modding’ consists of several pre-determined levels of tuning for engine, transmission, suspension, nos, tires and brakes all of which will slowly be unlocked as a result of beating ‘Blacklist’ racers. This however is pretty worthless and the mods seem to make absolutely no difference what so ever; your car may go a little more blurry when you hold the B button and use ‘nos’ but the handling will only get worse, the sound of the car will not differ in the slightest and some how no matter how fast your car can go, the NPCs will ALWAYS go faster.

The story; I could have written a better ‘story’ by noting down the tonal range of my fart as I take a crap in a tin can. To put it bluntly, Need For Speed Most Wanted makes East Enders look truly interesting and intelligent. East Enders at the very least demonstrates a sliver of civilisation and a brief character outline; christ NFS is the furthest you could get from either of these. Has no one learnt that you shouldn’t bother trying to mix a racing game and a story?! Lets face it, if I buy a racing game, I just wanna drive pretty cars round a track with no interruptions; not listen to some has-be looking witch and her psycho fucktard boyfriend talking shit constantly; “Do you know who I am..?” Of course I fucking don’t, you have no character, no personality, look like a monkey on steroids and talk like some twat who still believes in the ghetto.

Now I know I said I would be reasonable and attempt to form an argument but really and truthfully I have nothing good to say about this game. I guess what I’m trying to say is this game is terrible in every single sense. Whilst it may be worth an ‘easy’ 1000G, you may end up forking out £60-70 on replacement handsets after you’ve thrown them through a wall multiple times in sheer frustration. Thankfully I will never have to play this fag-ended pile of crap again for I have already cashed in on the 1000G but if you are a true gamer score addict, I wish you all the very best because despite everything said here, it’s another completed game on your record. Personally, I would NEVER buy this title and am thankful I can now return it to the misguided fool I borrowed it from.

Peace,

Chris

Hello World,

Whilst I am aware it has been an eon since my last post, I am still alive, again have just been stupidally busy with University and trying to keep my head above water. This post, however, will be far more constructed and established than previous post, with the focal point being that of Gamerpoints on X-box Live for the 360.

I’m sure many of you have the same ‘sad’ fascination as myself to constantly want to maintain and increase our gamerscores on live, to show how truely ‘great’ we are. Most of us I am also sure, will go as far to say as they have bought a couple of games purely based on the achievements and the ease at which they can be achieved (most owners of King Kong or Avatar : Burning Earth fall into this category). This has spurred me on to begin (and hopefully maintain) a list of games whoms achievements are fairly easy to get and could be classed as ‘Achievement Boosters’. The intention is to keep this list growing  and I will maintain this post and edit it regularly, adding new games to the lists. I will also links these games to their respective  xbox360achievements.org pages so you can see what the achievements are and how to gain them.

So, without further adue, I begin:

Need For Speed : Most Wanted – Fairly simple; can gain all 1000G just by playing the single player career.

King Kong – Very easy 1000G; obtain all achievements on first play through.

Avatar : The Bruning Earth – Fairly straight forward and all 1000G can be achieved in a matter of minutes; search game title on YouTube for explanation video.

Bioshock – Can obtain about 700-750G on first play thr0ugh but could take up to 20 or so hours; very good game however.

Bioshock 2 – Can obtain about 750-800G on first play through and with a couple of online matches; rest of achievements may take some time.

Mass Effect – Fairly easy to achieve all 1000G, but be prepared to put about 70+ hours in and for several play throughs.

Gears of War II – Requires a bit of dedication and would highly advise co-op, but play the campaign through on Insane, a few matches online and bang, you have another 700-750G. Probably a good 10-15 hours.

Test Drive Unlimited – Requires about 10-15 hours, but an easy 500G. Simply complete most of the races, own most of the cars/homes in the game and there’s your easy achievements.

Wet – fairly easy achievements; able to obtain between 400-500G on first play through on normal mode, shouldn’t take more than 5-6 hours.

Assassin’s Creed II – fairly easy achievements, all offline. However, set aside 30-40 hours for all 1000G.

Trials HD – very easy 250G and a fantastic title to own. Takes about 5-6 hours to get all the achievements. (Please note, this is an Xbox Live Arcade game)

Lego Batman – very easy 1000G and an enjoyable game. A good 20 hours gameplay but worth every second.

Venetica – easy 1000G; requires 2 to 3 play throughs but after the first play through the other two only take a couple of hours each. Looking at about 20 hours for all 1000G and the story isn’t too bad.

As I said, I intend on updating this list as I find more games so please check back regularly.

Until then… peace,

Chris

Hello world,

So, as promised, I’m going to try and not mention a single game or film in this post (highly unlikely, but I can at least lure you in to a sense of self-secuirty?!). Have finally started my 2-3 weeks of night shifts with the loving Royal Mail. Not exactly the most taxing thing I’ve ever done – sorting mail in to post code areas and placing them in the correct hoppers / pidgeon holes. That and it doesn’t even pretend to drag; the time just seems to fly by. I did from 10pm to 6am last night / this morning and barely noticed the time Hopefully it’ll continue this way! Only downside is it’s a bit of a ruddy prison camp; no mp3 players, no mobiles, no talking… etc. But hell, it’s good money for the most mindless thing I’ve ever done so I can’t complain too much! If your in need of some extra moneys over Christmas, I’d advise keeping an eye out in local papers / job centres around about October time each year for the ads! Personally I keep getting invited back each year August / September time because I’ve done it before. Definately worth while *thumbs up* and will be buying me a new computer this year

Now I know I said I wouldn’t mention any games but just one… I bought FF12 Revenant Wings on DS months ago for like £4.99 brand new (bargain right?!?!) and never EVER played it as I hated FF12 on PS2 (yeah, I can’t work out why I bought it either but oh well).

Final Fantasy 12 Revenant Wings

So yeah, I finally insert it into the top of my DS (after my GF pestered me to grow up and at least try it since I spent the time and money buying it…) and I have to say, despite not playing Tactics, it’s not a bad game. The battle system can be a little annoying sometimes as it is difficult to select separate units with the stylus but all in all a good concept and an enjoyable game. I can’t really comment on the story line as it’s an addition to the PS2 game which I never completed, lol. Am currently on Chapter 2 of the game (about 11% in according to the save / load screen) so haven’t played a great deal of it yet but so far enjoying it. As a die hard FF7 fan, I don’t think the story is as good as it could be, but heck for a DS game it’s not bad going!

FF12 Revenant Wings Battle Scene

As I said, the battle system is very similar to that of FF Tactics (or think RTS for instance Red Alert series) in that you select units using the stylus and then select the enemy you want them to attack and the ability they use. The maps are quite small areas but I think this works quite well – rather than one continuos map / game, it is split into smaller segments that you can explore over and over again (bring on the grinding!!) with monsters and treasures respawning randomly.

So, in conclusion (despite not wanting to write yet ANOTHER game review… ><) a worth while game if you’ve got a few hours to kill on your DS and like the FF series. I wouldn’t rush out and buy it right now personally, but if I were to see it for £4.99 again, I’d advise buying it straight away. Heck, at the very least, it’s another Final Fantasy game… right?

Peace,

Chris

Hello World,

Ok, so my life seems to consist of just gaming and watching movies at this precise moment in time but hell, I’m having fun doing it so what does it matter? Anyway, have also recently been introduced to Valve’s Portal. When Portal first came our I was reluctant to purchase it as, on Steam on my PC, I already owned Half-Life, Half-Life 2, Half-Life Episode 1 and 2, Half-Lif e Deathmatch and Lost Coast, so basically 90% of The Orange Box and I wasn’t going to pay £17.99 for what seemed like a demo game. However, having met a guy here at Uni who had it downloaded on his 360, I saw the benefits of purchasing the game. After a quick peak on eBay, I stumbled across The Orange Box on the 360 for a mere £8.00 delivered; BARGIN I thought

Portal: Still Alive

Have now played Portal through from beginning to end several times and it has to be said, what an awesome concept for a game! My only wish is that they could have made it longer and a much more intelligent story line similar to Half-Life 1 or 2. They definitaly should implement the idea into the 3rd HL2 episode – would make for a very interesting tool and I can only begin to imagine where the story could take you.

Anyway, moving on to the game itself. As you begin, the character is awakening in, what can only be described as, a confined room, isolated from any other existence. It soon becomes apparent you are nothing more than a lab rat in quite honestly, a maze of different tasks. At first I didn’t think much of the story, but you soon, or at least I did, grow suspicious of the computer that directs you through the different levels. Needless to say, these suspicions are soon heightened (don’t worry, I’m not going to spoil it for you). Story wise, there is much of ones to follow and in that respect, it is more of a demo than a game, but a ‘boss’ character has been implemented and there is a definitive ending.

The Portal Gun

So the idea of Portal is quite an advanced way of thinking; you can generate two portals in which you can use to move between. For instance I place a blue one on one side of the room and an orange on the other then I can walk through one or the other and end up the other side. Naturally, they’ve taken this further, building a set of stages that require you to use portals in an array of ways to navigate through the game. I particularly like the fact that if you go in at a high speed, you come out the other side at a high speed; this allows to you effectively turn yourself in a human projectile, literally throwing yourself hundreds of feet across obstacles (VERY useful in this game!). As I said, this game is highly intelligent and really makes use of a fantastic piece of technology. I would love to see this taken further, I really would.

I would highly recommend playing Portal at least once in your life even if you don’t buy your own copy, borrow it from some one and play it through! Granted, I wouldn’t pay £17.99 (or whatever it is on Steam now) but if you get the chance I would play it. As a quick rating, 8/10 for the graphics; whilst the portal effect is HUGELY impressive, the rest of the game is fairly standard. 8/10 for the sound as sometimes the computer voice can be somewhat incoherent (I know this is sometimes the desired effect…) and the lack of music irritates me sometimes. 10/10 for gameplay; the Portal idea itself is fantastic, but then to take it and turn it into a fully interactive game is even more wonderful. A true Valve masterpiece and I look forward to a future instalment or, indeed, seeing it in Episode 3.

Peace,

Chris

Ok, ok, ok, so I had chance to sit down and play L4D2 for 4 to 5 hours straight last night – a couple of hours in single player before the gamer emerged from my gf and she joined me Has to be said, one of the best damned games of this year. I will now attempt to summarise as to why this is one of the best games of the year; having in mind this is one of the first reviews I’ve ever done… well here goes nothing.

Ok, so upon loading the game you are presented with a lovely new and improved, cleaner menu giving you an array of different options both online and offline; perhaps the most notable mode is that of survivor – a mode very similar to that of ‘Nazi Zombie’s’ found on COD, the only downfall of which is that it can only be played online and, obviously, requires X-box Live to access. Needless to say I haven’t had chance to demo the online play but I am assured it is pretty damned insane (well, multi-player offline with just the two is pretty intense and I’d advise playing the campaigns through with a friend from the beginning just for the lol factor).

Anyways, upon loading the campaign for the first time, your back to the familiar roof tops of a tall building with your last hope of survival leaving in the form of a helicopter. Once again your presented with a mass array of zombies, a few pistols and now you have been bestowed the power of the ‘Melee Weapon’, all of which can be picked up at the very beginning of the level. Choose from an array of axes or crowbars or simply duel wield two pistols – either option is pretty damned insane as the second you get to the bottom of the first set of stairs, your surrounded by blood-thirsty zombies homing in on the smell of new flesh and blood. Personally, I took up the challenge and armed myself with a Fireman’s axe, bludgeoning anything that came even remotely close to my fellow survivors or I. At this point I should probably mention the fairly accurate and acute graphics that map each and every Zombie death and annihilation perfectly, pixel per pixel. I am aware the graphics on the first L4D left a fair bit to be desired, but they’ve really pulled the stops out with this one and the vast improvements are more than noticable.

A little further into the first campaign you stumble across Valve’s latest addition; the ability to ‘upgrade’ your weapons! FREAKIN’ AWESOME! Your first major encounter with these ‘upgrades’ resides in a weapons store – surrounded by 11-12 different weapons including Ak-47s, M4s, combat shotguns and smgs as well as explosive ammo upgrades and lazer sights, you really cannot get any better! Well your wrong, actually you can… how does a bloody CHAINSAW sound to you?! Sex much?! XD Only downside being is the finite amount of fuel and once it’s run out, that’s it Sad times! But hell, it’s bloody good fun up until that point; that and the Zombs seem to just run straight in to the front of the grinding blade Sex again?! XD

Left 4 Dead 2 - Chainsaw Kills

I mean look how strapping old Coach looks above straddling that gorgeous chainsaw?

Game On!

Ok, possibly not the best pictures in the world, but certainly shows the latest G3 addition nicely and an example of one of the many new ‘Special Zombies’, the Charger (quite possibly one of the most annoying Zombs in the game – as the name suggests, it charges you picking you up and causing mass damage and possibly even death in a VERY short amount of time.)

Anyways, to wrap this up, I would hugely advise buying this game. I have bought it on the 360 and swear by it; I’m not sure how this would play on the PC but I’m guessing quite nicely considering you’d be able to turn and aim a damned sight quicker than on the 360. As a general consensus I’d give the graphics a resounding 7/10, whilst the gameplay gets a 10/10 just for sheer excitement! The sounds and music tracks are pretty epic getting a nice 9/10

Peace,

Chris